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News flash: More and more women are jumping outside their marriages in search of no-strings-attached sex. An Internet connection and an account on a site like Ashley

We sent writer and monogamist Teddy Wayne to meet the growing flock of lady Don Drapers *And not by their husbands My eyes are blurry from too many post-midnight hours in front of my laptop, trolling through scores of Internet-dating profiles of women.

It has come to our attention recently that some T-Mobile customers have been receiving spam text messages to their phones.

The problem seemed to rear its ugly head towards the end of last month, and over the past couple of weeks.

TO BE TREATED LIKE I WAS THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH BY A HUNGRY GROUP OF MEN, PREFERABLY ALL [ethnic group whose male members are often hypersexualized in American culture, due in part to a complex legacy of discrimination]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BIG THICK [rhyming masculine body part] NEED APPLY!!! My first e-mail blitz, which doesn’t specify that I’m a journalist hoping to interview subjects, nets me a grand total of zero replies. I change tack and name-drop Yet a few replies roll in. (Identifying details have been obscured or altered slightly to ensure anonymity, and all names are fictitious.) She lists her weight at well over 200 pounds, her limits are "Anything Goes," and her tagline is "I’m too much for you." And what is she looking for? I’m not here at AM to meet someone for the opera, I assure you."What the hell is going on here?

You can order a replacement phone from Asurion, if that is part of the coverage plan you’ve selected.

Remember, every one of us has a phone too, and this issue affects our internal e-mail system.

T-Mobile is well aware of it, and is working on both customer facing statements and a fix.

Most spam messages seem to be a miscommunication between T-Mobile’s SMS/Email gateway.

From the sounds of things, there appears to be an issue with

The price of the replacement phone depends on the age and style of the phone.

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